Crewmate Snapps

“Arrr, hard to port Teca!”

Teca's many arms grip on the rudder and wrench Splinter to the side as another rush of water rocks the boat. Above, the Sky of the Lake has darkened from a dreary grey to a foreboding oppressive shroud, and the wind whips the surface of the water into a frenzy. But nonetheless, Splinter sails on. The crew has booty to claim.

Having crested the wave, Crewmate Snapps lifts his trusty telescope to his eye. No sign of the treasure as of yet… but Barny swore he saw it out here. An unusually buoyant facsimile of a crocodilian, purple of hue and possessed of thousands of teeth. Such an artifact might be used to improve Splinter in ways Snapps can barely dream of. Imagine if Splinter had teeth!

But first, it must be found. And before Barny got to it.

Also, there is the small matter of the storm gathering overhead.

Simone scampers across the deck to stand by Snapps' side.

“Snapps, do you see anything? The wind's kicking up…”

“Arrr, nothin' be catchin' me eye just yet Simone, but we surely cannot be bein' very far now! Set sail!”

With the new sails purchased from Idris and Rosie, Splinter is carried swiftly across the unsteady waters. The Lake is as empty as ever, but in the vast expanse of the water surrounded only by the billowing of the winds, somehow it feels even more isolating than usual. Snapps looks about the waves with apprehension, but Crewmate Snapps never fears! A true pirate fears no foe, obstacle, or inclement weather.

Then the crew catches his eye. There's an air of nervousness, with Teca clinging to the rudder and Archie and Simone standing close together, in the centre of the deck, away from the unsteady waters. He lowers the telescope.

“Arrr, what be makin' all of ye so grey in the face?”

It's Teca who speaks, pulling herself up over the rudder to speak at eye level.

“It's the storm, Snapps, it isn't showing any signs of passing over, and things just seem to be getting worse by the moment. None of us want to go over into the Lake during a storm, especially since we're so far away from where Lorah and the Cows could reach us.”

The flame of adventure, filling Snapps with all of the old passions, flickers, dimming. For all of his eagerness to find the treasure, the sweetness of the adventure is slowly poisoned by the creeping realisation that he is in danger of becoming the Captain again. Snapps has put down the Captain's mantle, and now he has no right to order the crew where they would not wish to venture.

“Arr, I be seein' the danger. Let us be takin' it carefully, and if we be needin' to, we be headin' for Shore before the storm be becomin' too severe.”

The crew, relieved, all nod, and Snapps feels the flame of adventure tentatively kick up again.

The day passes into dusk and under the weight of the clouds the sky becomes heavy, casting the Lake into dim shadow. The wind has not abated, and has grown stronger as Splinter is buffeted this way and that as it zig-zags its way across the Lake, all the while staying vigilant for the prize. If Barny has somehow got to it before you, you're not sure what you'll do.

Then the rain starts. At first, the gentle patter of light droplets sending small ripples across the surface of the Lake, soon intensifying into a deluge of water. Quite apart from the water beneath the deck, the weight of the rainfall almost makes the unfortunate crew of the SS.ASST (Archie, Snapps, Simone, Teca) feel like they're already submerged. Yet they fight on beneath the worsening wind and rain as the Lake tries its best to buck them from the deck and into the waters below…

“Snapps!” Teca cries over the wind. “We need to head home! It's too dangerous out here on the Lake!”

Snapps is about to give the order when he sees it…

The unusually buoyant crocodilian. With purple scales, thousands of teeth, and artful designs, it is clearly of human make. And there it is, being tossed about on the waves some distance from Splinter. The booty is in sight! Set sai-

“Snapps!”

Snapps turns around to see the crew. Archie and Simone struggling under the rain, Teca clinging to the rudder for dear life. As close as it is, a retrieval in this weather would be dangerous, to say the least.

The many teeth grin at Snapps. Taunting him. Challenging the pirate spirit of Captain Snapps.

But he is a Captain no more.

“Set course for Shore! We be waitin' for the storm to pass!”

Snapps turns away from the treasure, disappearing into the blackness of the night, never to be seen by him again. He only has eyes for his crew.

Captain Snapps may not be victorious. But Crewmate Snapps has won the day.

In the City, in the rowdier bars, the coves where animals gather to avoid the taxation of the Empress, and on the seaworthy vessels that animals would fashion for themselves, this song can be heard, sung terribly out of tune.

Over the waters, on the gleaming Shore

There rides a crab, he's a Captain no more

Yet despite that fact, with his crew by his side

He'll never set quests for booty aside!

Oh Snapps, oh Snapps, pirate of the sea

See the claws snap, they snap for thee!

He's the one we all aspire to be

So bring him a drink, and make it Snappy!

So come grab a drink and we'll all tell his story

Of his nemesis, the ruthless John Dory

From that great quest, oh he'd never flee

For it all began that day upon the sea

Oh Snapps, oh Snapps, pirate of the sea

See the claws snap, they snap for thee!

He's the one we all aspire to be

So bring him a drink, and make it Snappy!

The bin juicing bird it mentioned the name

Evoking the dread from which it drew fame

And Snapps, well, that hunt he'd never turn down

And with his crew they went sailing out-town

Oh Snapps, oh Snapps, pirate of the sea

See the claws snap, they snap for thee!

He's the one we all aspire to be

So bring him a drink, and make it Snappy!

None have seen them since, though word comes through the vine

That Snapps and his crew are doing just fine

And that even the fearsome John Dory

Lives in fear of his crew and their story!

Oh Snapps, oh Snapps, pirate of the sea

See the claws snap, they snap for thee!

He's the one we all aspire to be

So bring him a drink, and make it Snappy!