Barny

“Gather round, gather round! Come on up, one and all, and listen to the tale of Spirit Speaker Crab!

“Once a shy child, Crab lived in the fabled Grey Trees, growing up just below those legendary peaks. Looking up, they yearned for adventure, but found themself too nervous to set out alone. And so, they contented themself with stories, given to them by their older brother – a great adventurer in his own right – as he returned from his many totally awesome exploits.

“But with time, Crab became restless. The need for adventure – for a higher purpose, for something greater – began to grow within them. And so it was that, emboldened, they accompanied their brother to meet the fearsome Granny Moth-Spider.

“The Spirit was sharp and quick, but was no match for our young Spirit Speaker. Masterfully, they charmed and befriended the Spirit, to the shock of all present – using as a bartering chip their most precious of trinkets, the ‘peg’.

“Please, please, save your applause for the end!

“Anyway, anyway… where was I? Ah, yes! This marked the great Crab’s first, but by no means last, foray into the world of the Spirits. Soon, they had befriended all manner of Spirits, weird and wondrous, kind and cruel… all fell to the Spirit Speaker’s charms! Some say that, on the day of the meeting with It That Hungers… it was the Spirit Speaker themself who led the discussion! Bringing all to an agreement, even taming the beast itself with a game of fetch!

“Yes, it’s true. It’s true.

“The Spirit Speaker soon took on an active role in the organising of the Games For the Pacifying of It That Hungers, the success of which we are all well-aware by now. Working with the Spirit named Spirit, Crab ensured the safety of all participants, and works tirelessly still to pacify the great beast, so that it too may one day participate in the games.

“The Spirit Speaker keeps themself busy all year-round. When they are not riding the breeze of the great Wistwind, weaving webs with the Moth Spider, swapping tales with the Stillmirror, or travelling even farther afield in search of more Spirits to befriend, they even find time to have the White Raccoon itself over as a dinner guest! That’s right. Did you know that the White Raccoon loves seaweed? Nor did he, until Crab served it to him for dinner one night. Now it’s her favourite–”

“Oi, landlubber, be ye comin’?”

Ah.

You stop short. The crowd before you, so rapt mere moments before, now blinks in confusion at the interruption. You give them an apologetic shrug.

“Sorry, guys! Gotta go! But… listen out for the Spirit Speaker, ok? And if they visit, tell them Barny says hi!”

With that you turn, hopping off of your stone stage, and race towards Snapps, who is tapping his claw impatiently waiting for you. It is the fourth day of your grand adventure, and whilst you’ve been exploring and fighting and discovering as much as possible, you’ve also been sure to spread stories of Crab whenever you have a spare moment. After all, they’re also off on travels of their own now, and wouldn’t it be nice if the people they meet had already heard of them?

“Where to now, Snapps?”

“Arr, it seem there be some sort of disturbance by the canyon. Local sugargliders be findin’ themselves a’blown off course by the winds, and the kiddies be hearin’ strange sounds from the deep below.”

“Sounds like a mystery! Let’s go!”

“Aye, let’s find the miscreant. And if they give us trouble, I say we show the scurvy dog the wrong side of a cutlass.”

“And my spike!”

Eventually, you and Snapps return home – with a satisfied weariness to both of you – and you part ways with a promise to adventure together again one day.

–

As soon as you recover, you’re off again, this time with Evening Sprinkle. She came to you the other day, and put the coolest idea into your head… the world has to end at some point, right? Well, where is that?

And so, the two of you head off together to find out.

The days turn to weeks.

You and Gearbox deciding to investigate that mysterious ticking sound in the Terrace that everyone has been talking about. The two of you finding at its source a rather eccentric owl by the name of Tock, slaving over xir ‘Tock-Ticks’ (a strange wooden contraption which seems to be making all the noise). Gearbox seems instantly enamoured with the place, and gets to asking xir a number of questions about the nature of his gadgets: whilst you peer around the room and note that one of the Tock-Ticks is itself shaped like an owl.

The weeks turn to months.

You and Crab delving together into that darkest of darks, that most unknown of places… the Underground. Armed with torches, pegs, and Crab’s newly-found Spirit-attractor (so named because it emits a noise which forces any nearby Spirit to appear and request that you shut it off), the two of you set off to hunt down an elusive Spirit which Crab has been seeking for weeks. At a sudden noise, Crab freezes, and draws you behind them protectively. Slowly, cautiously, they call out. “Is that you, Binbagg?”

The months turn to years.

You and Pebbles, cautiously approaching It That Hungers with a bouncy ball. The two of you sprinting away in panic when the ball is snatched from your paws and devoured. Many, many years later, the two of you on that same shoreline, throwing a very similar ball into the deep blue pool, and having it shot back out at you with alarming speed. Pebbles catching it in one of their many tentacles and returning the throw with vigour. Spirit stands to the side, ready to intervene if need be, but the ball is thrown back, and no intervention is needed.

And so, the adventure continues.